Svale used to say,ย โConsider yourself a newbie while learning, and life will reward you opulently with lessons that are worth cherishingโ.
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Despite being a recipient of the Magsaysay award for his exemplary contribution in the field of art, he ardently continued to learn new things till his last. Hence, even after two years of his demise, heโs considered an eidolon by many.
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What he meant was to have an insatiable appetite to learn fresh, new things.ย Regardless of theย apprehensions associated with all things new.ย
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Today as I stand as a newbie to a life freckled with death, melancholy post four decades of marriage, all Iโve with me is an undying zeal to make a start from the scratch. Albeit my fingers yearn to be lovingly entwined, unvoiced feelings threaten to blurt out yet with the undaunted stamina of a newbie, I march on.
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Though itโs been two years, Svale is still overpowering me to learn new things. โTwas as if I had an ingrained internal compass thatโd always point at him. Iโd always felt, when you find someone who truly sees you, believes in you, sometimes more than you believe in yourself, and tells you so. Well, then you hold on to them and donโt let go, even if theyโre not perfect or even if you lose yourself just a little.
I couldnโt stop myself from letting him go, but in the process, I started to lose myself bit by bit.
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โDoes time heal wounds? Naah… I think itโs we who are incessantly changing, evolving, and learning like a newbie.โ
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He forever wanted me to take interest in painting, like the way he did. Meticulous, immaculate, fervidly passionate, and eager to learn.
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Today, I held his paintbrushes thatโs so reminiscent of him. With the sunlight streaming through the mullioned window of his art room I tried to implement the basics of paintings learned from him. With his lingering smell and warmth all over the place., a silent luminescence overpowered me pushing me to go that extra mile. The silence in the room seemed to stretch for an eternity.
The indelible memories ripple as I wade through his canvas. My fingers trail the surface of yore, and I manage to draw the outline of his favorite sunflower. So, Svaleโs advice of always being a newbie was taken care of.
Despite trying umpteen times, I couldnโt color the sunflower.
I realized I didnโt want to finish that piece of work. I wanted to leave the flower bland, glaringly obvious to show that I ainโt complete without him, and never will be.
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Iโve successfully outlined my new way to be with him. I smile clutching the โbland sunflowerโ to my bosom, opening my eyes to watch the world outside blur into obscurity.
A deep-rooted longing to start afresh was just fulfilled. Svale, you hear me?
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โIโm with you now, just โSvale’ * in your celestial world of newness!โ
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Notes:
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*ย Svale –ย ย ย ย Name (Norman origin) meaning “fresh or newโ
This read is as refreshing as the title.. The way the words are woven is so so beautiful… Gonna steal few lines from this โคโคโค
Thank you so much โค๏ธ So glad you liked. It’s all yours
Absolutely fantastic read ! So many emotions stirred inside me while I read it .. amazing !!
Thank you so much, so glad you liked ๐